This Story
Bill called me as I was on my way to Whole Foods Friday afternoon. Ever since my sister told me about the $1 oyster Fridays I’ve been trying to go. I consider it part of my wellness routine...the food itself and the effort to be simple-fancy as my boyfriend calls it. It’s a good description of me a lot of days.
His voice was warm and gentle, he introduced himself as the amicus and shared that he has a 14 year old, but that he remembers well his child at Walter’s age. He said he feels like he knows me a little from reading my deposition and that he wants to help us. Next, is to talk in person so he can understand a little more about the app conversations and the situation that the father is outraged about. We worked out to meet on Monday afternoon for a few hours and he said he would visit at our home too at another time to meet with Walter. I can call him on his cell any time…it is normal for people to feel upset during these times.
I was grateful and generous of spirit on the phone, but my eyes are full of tears now and I’ve been feeling these swells of emotions off and on since then. They are mostly in my chest and I think they are a mix of grief and relief. I’ve had some fear too, of course...that hovering bastard. (Haha, just kidding, fear. I love you too.)
I marvel that we live in a day and place where this kind of recourse is available. And I feel relief that there will be more communal support for my family which we clearly need.
The grief is weird...what am I sad about? I sit with it, but words don’t come. Well, words do come when you’re me, but none of them feel like they fit for this right now. One of my guides tells me to welcome my grief to stay as long as it needs to, so I do that. That swelling feeling is there again and my eyes are full and ready to spill down my cheeks like they did as I ‘gathered myself’ on the mat this morning.
Haha, words are funny shit, aren’t they? And sometimes none of them really seem to fit and that’s ok. Stay.
I’m here with you, Babes. I will stay with you. You and all your feelings are welcome.
