Humiliations

I’ve been thinking about humiliations lately. The feeling deep in my gut that I can access with just the word alone.

“I was humiliated!” my friend said, and I knew exactly the feeling she had had. It came from another too, “I find myself in a wildly uncomfortable, unexpected circumstance,” and I knew she knew the feeling too.

It seems close (first cousin?) to “shame”? Is shame that middle part in between humiliation and humility?

Recently, I read “Your shame isn’t the mean voice in your head. Shame is the deep bow your body takes at the feet of what you yearn to belong to.”

Is our bow, in response to a gut-wrenching humiliation, the exchange we make for that greater gift of humility? That peace in your gut that you can feel as you keep feeling past the humiliation.

I wonder if we can even gain humility without (even privately) experiencing humiliation? And I don’t mean humility like being soft-spoken and kind. I mean humility like that wild strength that chooses to be quiet and reverent of love and life and pain and joy. The humility that takes up space AND makes room for others. The one that knows its strength and holds space for others to learn about theirs too.

Remember, Loves, the bow is the middle part. The humiliation...though, it has that end-ish feeling while it’s there...is just the middle.

You’re not stuck there, or at least things are always changing, or at least you can come out when you’re ready.

And when you’re ready (you’ll know) you are probably standing taller, heart softer, more beautiful than you’ve ever been.

I love you. Keep going.