Intersections

Sometimes, you come to an intersection in your journey that feels both known and somehow surprising or surprising that it should feel known...

I felt this way when I watched The Maid on Netflix.

Oh. I know what this is.

Why had I separated the language from my own story or not yet associated it? What changes now that I know that they go together? Do I change? Does my place in the community change? Am I more secure or less secure now (internally...externally)?

I’m here again, in a similar way, reading Framed: Women in the Family Court Underworld by Dr. Christine M. Cocchiola and Amy Polacko.

I don’t know if ‘gut punch’ is the right colloquialism, but certainly my gut is aching with recognition and pain as I move through the pages.

I just want to be honest with you all. I’ve had a lot of anxiety this week/end that I’ve been breathing through, meditating off, green tea slurping down as a mediation date approaches in a few weeks and things constantly change (with me, with Walter, with the world), and other things don’t seem to change much. Or they looked like they’ve changed, but we think we’ve seen that before and trust in that change is weaker than in a water-soaked journal page’s ability to bear a pen. Actually, it feels more like bracing than trust (I’m sorry, gut...you’re holding so much aren’t you).

My gentle nudge is to have at the ready “That sounds really tough.” Sometimes, we’re hearing a story minimized rather than dramatized for understandably performative (safe) reasons.

Don’t dismiss the intersections that surprise you, Loves. No matter their category.